RAISING WELL-BALANCED CHILDREN

written by Cindie Trieber

The New Year is off to a great start here at North Valley and in the Trieber home. What a fun and special time the holidays were! Time with family, friends and our staff made the holidays very special.
Two “extra special” gifts that pastor and I received on Christmas Day were the announcements that we are adding two more grandbabies to the family in 2014! Tim and Rebecca are expecting baby number three; Ryan and Tiffany are expecting baby number five—eleven grandchildren to call us Nana and Papa! Does it get any better than that?
Boys are way out in front with seven (God’s perfect number), and girls are way behind with just two. The two granddaughters we have are so special. If we end up with just the two of them, it is perfectly fine, and what papa wouldn’t like to rack up the number of boys to nine? To watch your children marry and serve the Lord is incredible, but the grandchildren “put the icing on the cake!” We look forward to these two additions to the family.
It is also our privilege to teach The Home class at GSBC this semester. Pastor and I enjoy “tag team” teaching as we cover a lot of material on marriage and child rearing. While we experience growth in our family this year, it’s also a joy to experience the growth that we see in these students as we instruct and encourage them to have marriages and homes that bring honor and glory to God.
Of all the joys in life, parenting is certainly at the top of the list. It’s more than changing diapers, 2AM feedings, naptimes, toys, spit up and Mr. Rogers. It’s about taking the little life given to you by God and raising it, shaping and molding it, and watching it develop into what God would have that child to be. There is more to parenting than schedules, meals, school, homework, sports, emotional issues, spats with sibling’s, hurt feelings on the playground, book reports, drivers’ permits, drivers’ licenses, banquets, graduation, and college. It is about directing that little life to God; after all, He created this life in the first place. It takes a mom and dad with unconditional love for one another and an unconditional, unselfish love for the child. It is an awesome and sometimes tiring responsibility, but the rewards are so worthwhile.
A lesson entitled “Raising Well-Balanced Children” is listed below.

1. Be Normal.
   (Do not develop nutty ideas)
   • Children cannot attend Sunday school.
   • Children can only stay with parents.
   While giving instruction and discipline and teaching character and responsibility is vitally important, don’t forget to let children have fun once in a while! Mrs. Marlene Evans said, “If it’s not wrong, wicked, or against the Bible, leave it alone.”
2. Establish limited rules.
   • Our Lord gave us 10 commandments. Don’t constantly create new rules.
3. Raise your children from a heart of love.
   • Don’t rule with an iron fist, but from a heart full of love (Titus 2:2-4).
   • Provoke not your children to wrath (Ephesians 6:4). In other words, do not discourage them.
4. Expect Obedience.
   (Children need to learn to obey the first time every time)
   • Do not beg for it.
   • Do not whine for it.
   • Do no negotiate for it (establish right away who is in charge).
5. Be responsible to teach.
   • Ephesians 6:4 says we are to nurture and discipline our children in the admonition of the Lord. This is training by actions.
   • Teach consequences (there are consequences for doing wrong).
   • Help them read character in others.
6. Be a happy camper.
   • Children must NOT be reared in tension.
   • Stay calm.
   • Be a Spirit-filled parent.
7. Let your children see Christ in you.
   • Dad—what they see in you will be their view of the heavenly Father.
8. Listen more than you lecture.
9. Help your child find his or her future.
   • When they are small, do not worry about them wanting to be a “professional baseball player.” They will jump from one profession to the other.
   • When they are older, guide them into conversation about their future (don’t give answers, ask questions).
10.  Set a good example.
    • Do as I do—not as I say.
    • “Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

We have our children in our homes for such a short time. It is a season. Enjoy it to the fullest.
“This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein; for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
(Joshua 1:8)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cindie Trieber has served the people of NVBC for more than three decades as the Pastor’s Wife. She teaches in the college and is a godly mother and “Nana." She recently completed her first book entitled With All My Heart.